


Split Apart

by Amelia Abernathy (authr2b)



Series: Eremin 7 Prompt Challenge [6]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medieval, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-18 22:49:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4723238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/authr2b/pseuds/Amelia%20Abernathy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a war in the east of Armin's kingdom calls Eren away, it has more lasting effects than they could have imagined. </p><p>Prompt six of seven of my Eremin Seven Prompt challenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Split Apart

Armin stared out from his window seat at the training grounds that lay in full view. His childhood friends had returned the day before from a war being fought in the south and were assisting in teaching the children with hopes to be knights.

Mikasa- now Baroness Mikasa after her father’s passing two months before- stood with Sir Annie before a group of young girls, showing them the proper way to hold a sword. Sasha and Ymir, both Knights as well, carefully watched over a handful of older trainees that were practicing archery. Krista, who was a gardener sat to the side with a smile on her face as she made flowered wreaths and bouquets and watched Ymir make faces when a child made a particularly bad shot. 

But they weren’t really the ones he was interested in. 

On the other side of the training yard Marco, and Connie worked with the pages on their wrestling, and Reiner and Bertholt were helping those transitioning between page and squire with their staffwork. 

However, on the side of the yard closest to his window, Jean and Eren worked with the squires on their fencing, and that was where Armin’s thoughts lie. 

Eren stood with the tip of his sword in the ground watching the boy and girl before him. His tunic was wet with his sweat and stuck to his torso, showcasing his muscles. 

Armin had had feelings for the young knight when they were pages together which had grown while they continued their training. They’d even had a year together once they’d become knights before Eren had been sent off to fight in the war. Armin, as the youngest Prince, had been kept behind while his older brothers were sent off with all of his friends save Krista. 

Eren had grown in the last two years, and his face seemed to have become more angled. Armin looked back down at his book with a sigh. They had arrived home three days before, and he hadn’t been able to speak to any of them since. But even from a distance he could see that they had changed. Even Ymir who had already been through Hell and back before she even came to the palace at seven was different. 

Armin slammed the book shut and tossed it onto the space before him. He looked back out the window to see the regular teachers calling an end to the day’s physical training. He bolted up and ran out of his room and through the corridors. 

It took him a few moments but he finally made it to the top of the stairs leading the way to the knight’s quarters. He could hear the jokes and laughs of his friends on the floor below him and made his way down the stairs, his heart beating fast, but not because of the run. He stumbled onto the floor and began to follow the crowd, but was stopped when someone cleared their throat behind him. 

He turned around to find himself face-to-face with Eren. Three jagged scars marred both cheeks just underneath his eyes. 

“I was wondering if you’d forgotten about us.” Eren admitted, his voice lower.

“How could I?” Armin asked breathlessly. Eren gave him a crooked smile. 

“Well, you’re a prince, I wouldn’t be surprised if you found people that were better than us.” Eren said ruefully. 

Armin pursed his lips. “I do believe you’re underestimating your value in my eyes.” he replied. 

“Am I? You didn’t write in the entire two years we were gone.” He snapped. Armin felt his chest tighten. 

“I’ve been kept busy. I had to take up the duties of my brothers. I was meeting with dignitaries, running the castle, keeping our allies happy and on our side, making peace treaties and that’s only a fraction of my tasks! My father was busy creating strategies for the war effort while I did everything else!” Armin said, his voice cracking. “I had no time to write! And it’s not like you were much better about communicating but I didn’t complain!” He half-shouted. 

Eren’s eyes darkened. “One letter. That’s all I needed and yet you don’t even make time to do that so that I knew that you still cared-”

“Are you ignoring the fact that you wrote about as much as me? Never once did you or any of our friends send me letters to let me know you were still alive!” Armin felt tears welling up, and his vision began to blur. “I had to get my news from Krista! Ymir sent letters to her filling her in! and I know you sent letters to your mother so don’t act like I’m the only one to blame!” 

Eren’s jaw clenched. “I had to write them for my father-”

“And who was making Ymir write her letters?” Armin yelled. “Don’t villainize me when I was forced to keep the country together while you were off fighting!” his tears began to fall, but Eren remained cold. 

Eren opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by a voice behind them saying, “Stop it, Eren.” Eren looked up at the person behind Armin, back at Armin, and then pushed past Armin and stalked down the hall towards his room. 

Armin didn’t move from his spot and let the tears fall. A rough but small hand took his shoulder gently and gave it a squeeze. 

“Forgive him.” came the soft whisper of Mikasa’s voice. “He went through more than his fair share of pain.” Armin looked up at her and saw a gash sutured up on her cheek. 

“Why is he so different?” Armin sobbed. “What happened to him?” She gave him a soft smile. 

“He was captured in an ambush on his squad. All of the soldiers under his lead were killed and they tried to use him as a hostage. They beat him and left the scars that you saw as well as more that are hidden by clothes and those that cannot be seen by human eyes.” She said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Give him time. I’ll talk to him about it. Don’t worry yourself too much.” she placed a kiss on the top of his head. 

“You act as if that would be easy. He’s so different from when he left.” he said, his voice cracking. “It’s as if the Eren I knew is dead.” Mikasa sighed. 

“Not quite. He has flashes where it seems as if nothing’s changed, but he’ll never again be the boy we grew up with.” she said, rubbing his arm consolingly. “Just give him time and he’ll stop being so sore.” 

“I hope you’re right.” he whispered. 

 

Eren refused to speak to him for another two weeks, no matter how much he apologized. Jean, Sasha, and Ymir quickly took up their friendship once he spoke to him again, while Reiner, Bertholdt, and and Reiner took some time. Connie would have struck up the friendship again, but he was forced to take up a constant spot guarding the gate leading to the castle for most of the time, but when Armin made his way in and out of the castle he would make faces at him.

Halfway through the third week Armin got tired of Eren’s attitude towards him and finally confronted him in the armory. 

“Listen,” he started, “I understand you’re upset that I didn’t write, and I understand that you went through more than I could imagine while you were gone. But please stop ignoring me for not writing.” he begged. Eren looked up from sharpening his sword and studied him for a minute. 

“Why?” he asked, his eyes a mixture of emotions. “Why should I pay you any mind when you paid me none.” Armin’s shoulder sank. 

“Just because I didn’t write doesn’t mean I wasn’t thinking about you.” He whispered. Eren quirked an eyebrow, prompting him to say more. “I thought about you every day, I worried about you and prayed that you’d come home safe.” He saw Eren soften slightly. 

“I wanted to write you, I really did, but there were so many other letters I had to compose that impacted the entire kingdom. I had to put the lives of the people before my heart. I wish I could apologize but I can’t. If you hate me for that, then fine. but at least tell me instead of acting as if I don’t exist.” Armin finished, hanging his head. He waited for Eren’s response. he hoped that maybe Eren would forgive him, but after the outburst from their last meeting he prepared himself to have his heart broken. 

he heard the bench Eren had been sitting on creak, and saw Eren stand in front of him. Eren put his hand on Armin’s shoulders. 

“I don’t hate you. But it does still hurt.” he admitted. “I need to get used to being home and being around here before I think about taking our relationship back up. You’re the same as ever, but I know I’m not. Give me time.” Armin bit his lower lip. 

“That’s what Mikasa said.” he muttered, his chest tight. 

“I’m sorry.” Eren said softly. “I don’t even know myself right now. I don’t want to end up hurting you. It’s better if we stay separate for a time.” 

Armin nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Eren squeezed his shoulder and walked off, closing the door of the armory behind him. 

Armin fell to his knees, his head in his hands, and wept. He had been wrong thinking that it would be better if Eren acknowledged him. This was much worse.

 

Months passed and Armin kept an eye on his former lover. Mikasa was right. Eren was usually a different version of who he’d been growing up, but there was always a rare occasion when They could all pretend that the war had never happened and that they were all the same. These were the moments that hurt the most. The Eren he loved more than the world was just within reach, but then the gap would widen again with just one word and that little bit of progress was gone. 

 

A full year passed and Armin finally accepted that Eren would never come back. He tried to move on, but ever time he looked at Eren, his heart betrayed him and he remained in love. He spent many evenings leaning into Mikasa while he let his sadness free. He wondered if Eren having come home in a wooden box would have hurt near as much as watching the man he loved walk around, no longer in love with him. 

These evenings were suddenly brought to end when his father called him into his private study to speak to him about a marriage that he’d arranged for him. He would marry a princess of a neighboring country, one that Armin had written to many times, and then he would leave the kingdom to live there as a sign of faith unless both his brothers passed. 

Had this been two years before, he would have protested. But Armin felt his heart lift a little bit. This would mean he would no longer have to walk the castle and cross paths with Eren. He nodded and walked out of his father’s study. 

He went first to Mikasa to tell her what was happening. She gave a sad smile and gave him a hug. “I wish you didn’t have to leave, but I know you’ll be a bit happier. Just say the word and Jean and I will follow you there.” she said softly. Armin smiled into her shoulder. 

“I don’t want to ask you to leave everyone behind.” he replied. 

“Well, Jean’s even more pissed off at Eren than normal so he won’t hesitate. And I want to make sure everyone treats you like they should.” she said, pulling away but leaving her hands on his shoulders. “You deserve happiness. And I know you’d prefer to be happy with Eren, but if you can’t then at least you’ll be happy with us.” she cupped his face and smiled at him. 

“Thank you, Mikasa. If Jean’s willing and you’re willing then I would be honored if you’d go with me.” Armin replied, giving a half-hearted smile. She walked away and he walked back down the corridor. Just around the corner Eren was waiting, leaning up against the wall, He stared at his feet, an unreadable expression on his face.

“You’re getting married, congratulations.” he said, still not looking up from his feet. “I hope you’re happy.” Armin sighed. 

“Thank you.” He replied, trying to keep his voice calm. 

“I guess I should apologize for upsetting you for so long.” Eren muttered. Armin noticed that his knuckles had turned white while he gripped his arms. 

“What’s done is done. There’s no need to apologize.” Eren nodded stoically. 

“I guess you’re right. It’s my own fault. I waited to long and now it’s no use. I thought I was doing the right thing. No matter. You’ll be happy there and I’ll have learned my lesson.” Eren’s voice cracked. Armin felt his heart fall into his stomach. 

“I guess so.” he muttered. He wondered why Eren was saying this at all, especially now. just when he was thinking he’d be able to get over him. 

Armin walked towards Eren, and tried to walk past him but he found he couldn’t. Eren’s hand had caught his wrist. He looked up to tell Eren to let go, and found Eren’s emerald eyes were full of tears. 

“Is this how you felt?” he asked in a hushed tone. “When we spoke a year ago, is this what you were feeling?” Armin looked down at Eren’s hand, covered with tiny white scars. 

“Yes.” he replied simply. he felt Eren begin to shake. 

“I’m so sorry, Armin. I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t realize- I’m so sorry.” Eren’s voice broke again and he pulled Armin into his embrace. Armin leaned into it and let Eren cry into his shoulder. 

He’d done his share of crying. He wish he could gather some emotion, but now he was just numb. Eren loved him but he was getting sent away within a few months. Eren would be here and he’d be far away. And he thought that maybe everything would be okay. Eren would be able to get over his feelings and Armin would be able to divorce himself from the pain. 

But then Eren whispered “I love you” in his ears and his heart stopped. A moment later his tears leaked out and mingled with Eren’s. And he realized that they weren’t going to be able to leave this behind, no matter how much they wished for it. 

With both nothing, and everything, to lose, Armin repeated the phrase, and he felt both his and Eren’s heart break. 

 

Eren spent most of the two months leading up to the Princess’s arrival in the woods, hunting for the court. Armin spent that time preparing to hand off his duties to his brothers and packing up his many books and other assorted belongings. 

Every night he watched Eren ride in from his window with packs full of meat and skins draped over the back of his horse. after handing his horse and the packs over to a servant he’d take to the training yards and slash at the dummies until he tired and moved to the bench to sit with his head in his hands as he let his emotions flood over.

The night before the princess was to arrive, Eren burst into Armin’s rooms, startling the young prince. 

“I just, I just wanted to apologize again.” He gasped. Armin could see his eyes were bloodshot and that he was shaking. “Not just for being stupid and waiting, but for everything I said and did to you after coming back. I shouldn’t have done it but I did and I’m so sorry. I just, I just couldn’t let you leave forever without apologizing.” he was breathing hard. 

“I repeat what I told you last time. There’s no need to apologize. What’s done is done and we have to put it all behind us.” Armin said softly, thinking back to their year together before everything fell apart. It had been a happy time but they couldn’t dwell on those memories anymore. “we have to put everything behind us and move on.” 

“Please just accept it!” Eren yelled. Armin jumped out of his skin and stared at the knight before him. “Please! This is the last time I’ll get to ask for forgiveness from you and I need to here you accept my apology! Don’t dismiss this! I need- I need you to-” He broke down. Armin walked over and wrapped Eren in his arms. 

“It’ll be okay eren.” Armin tried to soothe him, “It’ll be okay.” 

“You don’t understand.” Eren sobbed. “When I was being held captive I thought I’d never get to see you again, and then- and now it’s the same but I don’t have any hope that I’ll get to see you again.” Armin stroked Eren’s head. 

“Eren, I’m sorry, but this is the way things have to be, and we have to accept it.” Eren clung toe Armin. 

“I pushed you away and now it’s my fault that this is happening.” 

“That’s not true.” armin sighed. 

“You know it is.” Eren said, pushing him away. his cheeks were wet, making his scars shine as if they were new. “I asked you to wait while I got used to being back and now I’m losing you. If I hadn’t done that then you’d have fought against it instead of accepting it.” Armin ran his fingers through Eren’s hair. 

“I would’ve had to accept it.” Armin said softly, “This ensures the safety of the people, I couldn’t have fought against it.” He knew it was true, even if there was a time he wouldn’t have accepted it as the truth. 

“Don’t leave.” Eren whimpered. Armin leaned into Eren and let his own tears fall. 

“I have too.” 

“Then take me with you, don’t make me stay here alone.” Armin sighed. 

“I couldn’t do that. I love you so much, but it would only hurt us both if you came with me.” He whispered, trying to keep his voice under control. 

“I love you too.” Eren gasped. “I wish I could stop.” Armin laughed. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, but I feel the same way.” Eren pulled away just enough to move so that he could give Armin a kiss. 

 

Armin was woken early the next morning by his father. 

“There was a complication last night. The Princess’s caravan was attacked, she and many of the soldiers and attendants were killed. Her father and the surviving members of their caravans are staying here while some of our soldiers escort the bodies back to their castle.” he said in a hushed tone. “You’ll be expected to pay your respect and express your regrets.” Armin nodded. 

“So, is there another daughter I’m going to marry?” he asked sleepily. 

“No, she was the only one. We talked it over and have decided that marrying his youngest son to one of the Noble’s daughters.” Armin’s eyes popped as his father walked off. 

“Are you serious?” he asked. his father nodded and looked back to him with a sly look on his face. 

“Meaning you may choose whomever you wish as your future partner if you so desire.” and with that he walked out. It took Armin a moment before he realized what his father was saying. 

In half a heartbeat he had jumped out of his bed and thrown on a brocade dressing gown before sprinting down the stairs towards the knight’s quarters. He slid to a stop before Eren’s room and knocked repeadetly on the door until Eren answered. 

Before Eren could utter a word, Armin relayed what had happened. Eren’s eyes widened as what Armin had told him registered. 

“Wait, we could- he’ll let us-” Armin nodded, a huge smile on his face. 

“He’ll let us stay together.” Eren heaved a sigh of relief and wrapped his arms around Armin. 

“I’m so happy.” Eren muttered. “I swear I’ll never do something stupid again.” Armin chukcled. 

“I highly doubt you can avoid that.” Armin replied. 

Eren laughed and pulled away, smiling like the old Eren that Armin had grown up with. They smiled and leaned in for a kiss, knowing that worst was behind them.


End file.
